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It’s Like to Lose Your Leg. Kirstie Ennis was serving her second tour in Afghanistan in 2012 as a sergeant for the United States Marine Corps when her helicopter went down.

“I remember one of the army medics, he came over and he said, ‘Don’t close your eyes ’cause you’re not going to open them again,’” she says in Cosmopolitan.com’s documentary, Back on Two Feet.

The documentary follows Ennis, who, at 25 years old, has undergone 38 surgeries and two years of speech and cognitive therapy, as she prepares for her 39th surgery, which will amputate her leg below the knee.

Twenty-two veterans a day take their own lives, and Ennis says, “I get it. After I lost my leg, I went to that dark place.” Ennis opens up about how she contemplated suicide, especially after an unexpected emergency surgery — her 40th overall — to remove her knee due to a life-threatening infection.

Watch the powerful documentary above to see how Ennis overcame 40 surgeries and really did get back on two feet.