In 2015 to me amputated a leg under local anesthesia because I had metastases in lungs and temperature 41 at the time of inclusion in hospital, a tumor managed to decay and decay.
When you read stories of people who struggle with fatal diseases, you expect to meet the story about overcoming.
As the person lives and aspires to something “contrary to”. Maria Kireeva has a story absolutely about another — she leads usual life, the hero of doesn’t consider, and in it her superforce.
Maria always says simply and directly what thinks of. For example, she answered a question of age so: “And it is obligatory? I have no age. My life was divided on before and after. After — it means all ahead, everything only begins”.
Maria began the story about herself not with the description of a disease and fight against her, and with declaration of love to life.
“I love life in all manifestations”
I am mom of two children, twelve and sixteen years, the blogger.
At present I had a recurrence (metastases in lungs) and I had to study chemotherapy anew. But I continue to work and remove heroes. My dream that my programs showed all over the country. They motivate!
I love life in all manifestations. I enjoy trifles. Even when there was a recurrence, I lay and said: “I thank, I thank for these tests, I will overcome everything”. The recurrence doesn’t frighten me. Now I am afraid of nothing at all. Even death. I try to accept life and circumstances such what they are and to treat everything calmly. Neither to be happy, nor to be upset. All the time to keep calm. I came to it in a long way of spiritual growth.
However, one fear after all is — that will take away from me (or will hide) a leg, and I will become a disabled person. This bodily, instinctive fear. All of us animals in fact.
I have one strangeness — maniacal passion for purity. I like to wash entrances, to clean up at acquaintances, to cut off trees in the fall. Fan of purity and in general perfectionist. In the childhood I could at the grandmother at the dacha exactly dig over all kitchen garden, for example. Once I even washed in hospital a toilet bowl directly when took the next course of chemotherapy. And also I rub hands and I close eyes when to me it is good.
It will be most difficult to refuse to me work, the movement, the sea, the blog, publicity, children. But I can’t even present forces which could force me to refuse all this.
Every day I live before in different ways. I can’t even describe a typical day. But morning is always identical. I stood on one leg and took a shower. Then she put on an artificial limb. Morning is the worst time for me. I usually forget that I do not have a leg during the day, I kind of “grow” with an artificial limb, take it off only for the night. I walk on an artificial limb for 17 hours a day, but early in the morning I understand that I do not have a leg, and I cannot just rise and leave. And I’m terrified.
Here I won’t get used to it in any way, I think to get used and it is impossible. I should lie minutes five, I force myself to rise, put on a leg and to go, often I just jump. But I don’t allow that it enraged me. Too I love life to be nervous because of such trifles.
If at me evening alone with itself was free, then I just lie silently. Anything supernatural!
And swimming in the sea or driving the car on the night city calms me best of all. Yes, I am a driver. I can’t be a passenger — that in the car that in life. It came after a disease. Also I think, it is connected with control. That is, I don’t trust the driver, only myself. I have to keep everything under control. In fact the route is life. There is such strangeness. Driving I twelve years without interruption. And in general I like to drive and I spend in the car sometimes the whole day. I love the high speed, but when I one in the car. I shuffle the automatic machine the left foot. It excites me!
In the summer I adore swimming in the sea. I visit friends in the winter, I take care of children, shopping, I visit beauty shops.
If such answers seem to you simple, most likely, Maria’s objective was achieved. For the present you don’t even represent what she faced.
At the end of 2013 at me the leg ached though I any had no trauma. Doctors made different diagnoses, suspected a hematoma and even wanted to pump out liquid from my shin. I smeared a leg with gels, ointments, heated it, massed a cone, by their council.
Then one doctor on ultrasonography assumed that it is a tumor, and only by the end of 2014 made me the diagnosis “sarcoma of soft fabrics” with metastases in both lungs, cancer of the fourth stage. As at cinema I was “pleased” that I needed to live at most a month four and it is time to think of the will.
Four months later, I knew I was still alive. In 2015, my leg was amputated under local anesthesia, because I had lung metastases and a temperature of 41 at the time of hospitalization in the hospital, the tumor managed to decompose and rot.
Nobody wanted to undertake such patient. I was saved by the friend, I got to the Rostov research oncological institute where harmonious actions of doctors and their positive spirit saved to me life. In what it was expressed? They told me: “Yes you will think, metastases, it is cold! Now we will cut off a leg, we will treat chemistry and you will run!”. I believed. All and left.
To me conducted six courses of chemotherapy and in two months entered into full remission. Three years I was in remission and learned to go on an artificial limb. In June, 2018 in the left lung the metastasis developed, to me carried out a resection of the lower share of a lung and allowed to go home under observation. A year later in the left lung one more “kid” and in right a couple was brought. Doctors decided to begin a chemotherapy course, but not to cut and not “to chase them”. Here so I became bald again.
“I see myself rich, successful and healthy”
In five days after the termination of a last year of chemotherapy Maria agreed with us to talk again. She prepared for a business trip to Baku and if you didn’t monitor the blog in Instagram, then would never guess that back she once again passed few days through difficult procedures. But we forgot not only about Maria’s diagnosis, but also about the relation to questions about a disease. Here what we learned about how Maria feels now.
Questions of how my private life as colleagues changed concern me when I return to work after treatment, seem to me ridiculous.
I never tested problems with communication and attention, the disease didn’t change it in any way. The same as it didn’t change the attitude of colleagues — they appreciate me, first of all, as professional. And, when I come back after chemotherapy, behave so as if I returned after cold. I also so treat it.
The disease in general didn’t change me in any way except that made quieter. But I want to tell one absolutely precisely, and I speak about it in the blog always: it isn’t necessary to mystify or demonize cancer. For some reason in the 21st century around this disease still there lives the mass of myths, folk remedies, legends. Instead of going in time to the doctor, people nearly with a tambourine run. And then already late. Cancer it is possible and it is necessary to treat, it is only failure in genes. Therefore watch and the health!
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